The Emancipation of Drey

3 minutes of enthusiasm

2006-03-31T00:17:00.000+08:00

...is waning..

yes, my interest in blogging is fading. everytime i log into blogger i see the long list of entries still in draft version. they just never make it to see the world. when the list gets too long, i just have to start deleting them. well, we shall see how long can i sustain my presence in the blogosphere.

everything seems to be getting pretty pointless to me lately. i don't like to be drama mama and i have no heavy words to describe my emotions. most importantly, i don't wish to be protrayed as some idiotic bitch going through some hormonal changes thats why im saying all these here. but..truth is everything that is happening around me these days irks me greatly. im becoming a very frustrated person within. not only that, im also becoming very wary, very impatient, very cynical and confused a person. i start to wonder if im as capable as i thought myself to be. i get angry over trivial matters. and im really worried.i really am. how do you think i can gear myself up with this kinda wrong mindset and head out to the corporate world? it's either i kill everyone ahead of me or i end up in some cold deserted asylum. and probably die of a lonely death.

i see so many things that are wrong in this world, wrong in my own sense of cos, so it may not be wrong to the throngs of people out there. i do not like what i see. and it seems that all i can do is just sit here in front of the lappy and lament in my bloody blog. how pathetic am i? how insecure am i?

The Much Awaited Post......

2006-03-26T13:15:00.000+08:00

...Been donkey years since I record any action in this blog. Heh I din know my mates miss my blogging so much! [I know you all do, if not why did you all ask me why haven't I blog these days? heh so just nod your head and agree you all miss the wacky me..] So I have a wacky post for you guys this time.... hahahh

Okie.. I have got a new gadget in my life these days. Mum threw it to me just last week. It was a freebie she squeezed out of that salesman at OTO some a year and half back when she purchased 2 sets of foot electro reflexo thingy. yeah she kept it hidden all these while and only took it out when uZap is in rage and when I constantly bug her to get me some good eye cream for my hideous eye rings and bags. And yes, the gadget is somewhat similar to uZap, using the same logic and the difference is that it's to be strapped onto your head and not your tummy thigh or butt. Since young, I have had concerned pals coming up in my face close enough to smell my breath and tell what I have eaten for lunch and ask if I was punched in the eye. I have also my intimate encounters with the beauty fellas stationed at watsons and guardian, aggresively promoting to me their eye products the moment i set foot in the stores. How interesting and so of cos, I welcome the gadget in glee.

To date, I have only tried the gadget twice. I mean, what do you expect? I said mum threw it to me last week! I have decided to name it the iZAp. heh it's for the eye so the name is quite apt isn't? Smiles. Have you guys tried the uZap before? After using it, it gets your tummy thigh and butt areas itchy right? so applying the same logic, the eye area gets itchy too. All the vibration gets my nose darn itchy too..heh so i just keep scratching as i use iZap. I really have no idea if it works. But in my optmistic self, I have decided to buy their story. That is, all the vibration improves blood circulation so my eye issues will be resolved slowly but surely and that it will tone up my face. Haha who knows, after this posting and should my eye bags and eye rings miraculously go away, i have the iZap to thank. OTO will then approach me to endorse their products. No more auntie Nancy Seet. I will join the ranks of Fiona Xie and endorse health gadgets, I can be just as HOT!! Sizzling hot yeah .. grins.

As promised, a wacky post i didnt forget. I took 2 shots of how the poster of me and iZap can look like. Heh for all you curious mates out there who wants to know how iZap looks like and how wacky I can be. Scroll down...

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There you have it. Me and my newest toy...

Hope i made my post wacky enough to let you guys have a good laugh. Meet up soon yeah!

ps: Im so pissed with blogger and I have no fucking idea why my lines are underlined. Blogger also deleted my entry alot of times, I have to write this entry dunnoe how many zillion times. Pui. no choice i have to satisfy my avid readers. hehehh

Shopping for YOU!!

2006-03-11T00:04:00.000+08:00

hmphz...din realize that my blog has been inactive for this long a time. i got fed up with blogger earlier cos' it ate up my previous entries. i dunno where they'd gone man..not very much in the mood, but...yeah just something short i guess. tonnes of stuff to do. blogging is low on priority!but projects and shopping is high on priority!hah i even managed to squeeze some shopping with the part uobs this early afternoon before gg back sch. so not proud of myself...grins.

anyway i was blog hopping earlier and i chanced upon this somewhat famous site belonging to a lady. the title of her entry yday was: the shopping game. she had likened the females' search for future partners to a shopping experience game. i thought it was a pretty weak analogy, but nonetheless a commendable attempt. heh i dun haf an analogy to be called my own on the search for a soulmate and i think it's pointless to have an analogy on this profound issue here. it takes all sorts to make the world. so all these different ppl complicates the search process. i'd rather leave it all to that intangible factor call destiny =)....

sailor stripes skirt: $35 with minimal bargaining @ a lil shop in Icon

korean chicken set: $4.90 with no bargaining @ foodcourt in Bugis Junction

ticket to happy tomorrows: priceless with lifelong negotiations every now and then @ moomoo's

i've made my inmaterial purchase. period.

High dose of escapism

2006-02-22T11:24:00.000+08:00

i hate to feel this way but im really feeling it.
i want to stop all that' making a wreck out of me.
i dun wanna go wasted but i aint confident.
i probably should look for an avenue out.
oh well yet another plunge, just another occurence.
what's the big deal bill?

When i can finally move on with my life..

2006-02-20T09:14:00.000+08:00

...i realized i forgot my userid and password to log on to blogger to blog.so i cant access my blog from other coms excepts mine, and if i reformat my lappy(which im quite certain i will be cos' it's just too cluttered now) i prob cant blog liao??
wtf man, anyways brownie's at the doorstep again.
gg to gym with my guy after that. will blog more tonight.
so much to say now that the dissertation's handed up and i can move on with life.

STF just made my day!

2006-02-07T17:04:00.000+08:00

Im really stony now from the lack of sleep(again) and the shock i received. The significant event was definitely my meeting with dearest STF. I emailed him yday out of desperation to ask him about the additions to my literature review. Such a simple thing, and I dragged and dragged for a full 4 days. I decided to end my misery and procrastination, so i mailed him for advice. Of cos, the nice guy he is replied my queries and (to my HORROR) further suggested i do an even analysis to beef up this chapter of mine (which i haven't even fucking start ).

Upon reading the mail, I just went "Simi Si event analysis?" and cursed big time, like i always do. the fact that he couldn't tell me abt it over email speaks much of the level of difficulty. true enough, he stunned me during the meeting just now. I wanted so much to concentrate and totally grasp what the fucking hell he was talking about. But due to the weird lingos he had, im sorry, that's really about all i can gather from the 1st time headon session with even analysis. I thought it was really nice of him to even show me to the datadtream terminal and download some much needed data for my event analysis. However so, even as i sit beside him watching his each and every move, my mind can't stop racing wild and spitting more expletives. i was silently chanting WTF non stop within. i thought my thesis will be about reporting information and detailing the events, Boy am i so wrong. datastream is a necessary evil.it's either i embrace it wholeheartedly, and nail it in the ass or be crushed like a cockroach.

it's time i stop penning. i better get my ass moving.

oh...and i still cant help but think im an idiot. i did not make it to meet mr yong yday. i actually told zhi aik (his nus student assistant) that im not in sch, im doing my dissertation at hm. I cant help but think i was really rude lahz..he like ask to meet then i declined. it was such a rare opportunity to catch up with him. he was in nus! and he's leaving SG on the 13th. i doubt i have time to meet him and i doubt i have the chance again. Afterall, he had made it a point to meet the NUS students yday. (for those wondering who is mr yong: well, he's this singaporean man i met in shanghai. ceo of inventis (china). funny guy, very nice to talk to, much to learn from and yeah...positive association if that's the way you term it. oh well...

No point crying over spilled milk. make the best of what's available then.

Prays, for me and you. =)

i fucking dislike this feeling..

2006-02-04T16:06:00.000+08:00

...nabe i really duno how to describe the feeling boiling in me. im just so so pissed. and all i can think of is a mouth full of expletives. the central library is fucking cold. i cant fucking find what i want online. i dun fucking know what stf wants. i dun fucking know how to finish my thesis. want to get A?dun make me laugh man.yeah mine can possibly be an A topic (ithink) but wtf man, it's all down the fucking drain. adieus 2nd upper. mayb im just fucking lazy. argz i dunnoe fucking know lahz..and im feeling fucking fat. wah liew i put on so fucking much weight. my face is round like the fucking fishballs, my thighs are so fucking filled with cellulite, my bye byes are so fucking gross. i just so fucking FAT FAT FAT FAT. plus im having a fucking outbreak of pimples. and my dark eye rings i just look like a panda. I so fucking need to get out of this stage. abyss of darkness. i need some fucking help!!!!!!!!
tui nia seng. dunoe what im talking about? just go fucking X the page.

Fatt Choi =)

2006-01-31T19:22:00.000+08:00

GONG HEI FATT CHOI to everyone!!!!
haha is it too late a post for the 2006 lunar new year?
Anyways, heres something to gross u guys out.
If you havent realize, my family always cooks mushrooms during big occasions. In cantonese, it's called "Men Dong Gu." And together with the mushrooms, there will be dried oysters, dried scallops and during reunion dinners, there will be Fa Cai! Fa Cai's my fav. haha soaked in the good tasting gravy, the Fa Cai cant taste better. Yeah so for reunion dinner this year, Fa Cai's in the dish again. I think I had too much of it, when i shit, haha I see strands of Fa Cai in my shit. haha the toilet paper also got Fa Cai!! Is that gross or what???
When I announced that proudly to my family, GUESS WHAT?? They all have Fa Cai on the toilet paper too.. How lovely =)

Rants

2006-01-25T23:33:00.000+08:00

im just so fucking tired from the dire lack of sleep. Had only managed to grab abt 2 hrs worth of precious sleep at 4 plus am and woke up at 6am to supposedly finish my stuff before i hail a cab and hurried down to meet stf. the meeting was not exactly good. i bet he thinks im such a lazy bum, i know he really thinks so. and i dun just need to catch up, i need to run.if i want to work for that 2nd upper of mine, i hell better do it good. for a peace of mind, for a sense of self achievement, and really to end my academic life with a BANG! who wouldn't???

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ps: this entry was kept in the shelves for awhile.
Pss: i have so much to blog about but i dun haf the time!!argz...

Victoria's Secrets Fashion Show

2006-01-23T23:35:00.000+08:00

Came home and was watching it...wah damn nice lahz...will blog more tmr after i see sing ye.. =)

So Sweet!!

2006-01-19T10:19:00.000+08:00

Hee hee hee...

Yesterday started off on a pretty bad note. Early morn when i was trying to steam some foodies, i fucking burnt my left index finger. All thanks to the hot steam at 100 degrees celsius. They burnt me a bubble on the finger and i wasnt able to type properly, touch any stuff, and needless to say, i can't dig my nose. How sickening.

To add on, I was also angry with myself for having procrastinated my literature review writing. I ought to be shot, so many days liao still zero word count. How to get A lidat?How to go Motorola black Show?I better wake up my fucking ideas. Yes, I aspire to finish writing today!Full-stop.

Anyways, as yesterday went on, I got even more pissed. With this and that, yadah yadah...Until my house door bell rang!I opened the door to find my guy hiding behind a pillar..haha he asked me to unlock the door then turn around. Yeah and i obediently did so =) ..He surprized me with a stalk of Lily and a cute lil plush toy that could do recordings. Hee hee hee.. *blushes* Of cos, he recorded some words of encouragement for my thesis. I thought it was really sweet of him. Following the surprises, he made my day by planting me a big hug. Heh Thanks moomoo..And with that, he diluted all my angst and irritation..I think i could go on with that low level of irritant in my blood for awhile, for my blood is now high on glucose content from the showers of love...Hee hee hee Am i grossing you guys out?Yeah I deliberately made it sound sooooo mushy!

Okie stop penning here!Im off to shit. It's already at the door step. Hang in there, brownie =)

Ciao...

Motorola Black Show!

2006-01-16T11:43:00.002+08:00

wooohoo..
yay i should be going for the motorola black show with yt, gj, hl and grace this saturday!
As i have confessed to yt and grace, yeah im not interested with the fashion show. But what really interests me is the goodie bag. hee hee i saw the advertisement on the straits time that day and it says 300 goodie bags for the 1st 300 of cos! I am so gona be early. yes, i m a cheapo fart =)
the dress code is black and gold. grace says she will borrow gold chains from her mum. they are as thick as ah long's wor....heh..
so exciting! but but but...i will need to work hard for my thesis and compensate on the times for fun this week.bleah will blog more about it when it comes.

They say, "life is predestined..."

2006-01-13T18:46:00.000+08:00

What's your take on the title? Do you buy it?

For all it's worth, I do.

Was supposed to meet eddie for lunch at 1 this afternoon. He was late, his specs broke and he needed the dumps. But I had already started eating and when I was done, he still ain't here yet. So I decided to go to the central library and get this journal, so perfected titled for my dissertation. It reads, " Commercial real etstae loans and the new basel capital accord." How apt, I thought.

I did the usuals in central library, i.e. you go to the photocopy room to zap the materials you have found. I was halfway done with my zapping when i suddenly took notice of a chinesey book being photocopied to my right. As my eyes trace from the book, to the hands, to the hair, Then to the face, it reckoned on me that I knew who she is. Yes, cristee.

Cristee is from arts. An MOE scholar, majoring in chinese i think. Our paths crossed when we went to nanjing university together for SEP. From her appearance, she definitely hits you as a super guai guai girl, with a symmetrical hairstyle, bespectacled, just the kind of face you typically stereotype her to be with the clan of old fashioned thinking teachers. And as i roughly paint you the picture of cristee, it should already dawn on you that, both she and i do not really belong to the same world.And im guilty of convicting her boring, even at the 1st look. Days in nanjing went passed and it began, i seriously dun remember when and how it happened, that things between us just turned a awry. I know, wayne would have said it was from the time both of us left her alone in nanjing and "trained" ourselves to the north to meet up with our other nus friends in beijing and had a helleva fun there. BUT if you ask me, what was that one incident that sparked off that nasty act, i tell you, i dun have an answer. I think, things just kinda snowballed and turned sour. It just happened. *shrugs my shoulders* I remembered, being really pissed with her and just felt like trashing things out with her on the spot several times! haha this is definitely not something surprising coming from a person with my kind of bad tempers. But of cos, I did not, having been "convinced" at that time by wayne that i really shouldn't make things so ugly. And so, we just kept things low, albeit still unhappy with each other. Heh and before I know it, wayne and i were bound for shanghai..I texted her a msg on her handphone when we left on a cab to the train station. But i was sure, she hell did not bother to reply.

And that was really how she exit from the China SEP play..Lost but not forgotten cos, her infamous phrase of "Ni Bu Guai" is still constantly being joked about by us. And we were always wondering hows shes doing and stuff. Today is the 1st time i have seen her in school since back from china. and so many things have to be set in lined for me to meet her in that photocopying room. for all the little probabilities to occur, it sure requires a lil more than just sheer luck isn't it?Anyways, the most important thing i'd like to blog about in this entry is that, i felt happy when i called out to her and she smiled back. yeah it was a lil akward initially cos i din haf much to say to her. but after exchanging some lines, she smiled and laughed back and seemed pleasantly surprised to see me. i thought to myself, boy am i glad that i did not trash things out with her in nanjing. if i had, things will prob be so ugly and weird to say hi to her and gain that smile today. It really doesnt matter if she faked it or not, cos i felt it was real and it's still beautiful when i look back.

Freshly permed hair..

2006-01-11T17:00:00.000+08:00

It's been raining everyday for quite awhile. The weather's so nurturing us into long slumbers. I just feel like lying on the cosy bed of mine and nua. Yes, and forget about the darn dissertation. Of cos, when you think I must have been a lethargic piece of flesh like I always do, I'm proud to annouce that I did not succumb to temptation and nua in bed while the rain outside fell and attempted to flood the sunny island of ours. I was at my dear's place doing dissertation. Heh the achievements werent like a bag full, but at least i got the write up for the 3 pillars done (I know, im still far from the finishing line but..hell, i got pass some of that heavy inertia of mine k?The least you can do is pat me on my back and say, keep it up!). Will continue to work hard yeah =) And meanwhile, if anyone of you reading my blog can path me a road into any financial institutions, real estate developer firms, credit ratings agencies or MAS to do my survey, drop me a msg. Desperate pleas, time's running dry.

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Went to the salon today in the morning. Initial intention was to cut it medium short and get a warmer colour for my hair. But when i told my dearest johnson about it, he frowned upon the idea and suggested i perm it.

Johnson, looking deep into my eyes: I think you ate alot of good food in china. You're quite plump after you came back.

Me: (Laughs hysterically, cursing very hard within me) Yeah lohz... hahah %&^$^$#&&^*^#

Johnson: If you cut it short, or dun perm dun do anything, will be very normal lohz..Plus if you cut it, your face will look more plump.

Seriously, in this kinda situation, who in the right mind will still stick to the original intention of cutting the hair short? It's quite obvious right, his words have such gearing effect on your mind, albeit truthful. I mean, the idea is put forth so blatantly in the face. Yeah, and I know deep down within me, there are really alot of fatty cells and cellulite so i'm really still a fat chick whether i like it or not. My face is round like a globe and probably the last thing i should do is cut it short. Sian.. once a fat chick, always a fat chick. As expected, i said yes to his proposal to perm my hair.

I spent like whole 4 hours in the salon?that was madness. i was so freaking bored. my dear left after his haircut,i knew i'll take long. i tried to read the journal i brought along but the mood just wasnt there. i looked around, observed the ppl in the salon, they arent really an interesting bunch. i watched bit of tv but i had to strain my neck to do that. so at the end of it all, i just sat and stoned.yawns.

I say, the end result was quite "wah."haha...i cant decide if i look good in it. i like the hair colour but it doesnt seem to match my face colour. my skin colour, if you din notice, is yellowish..hwhahahh yeah plus my dark eye rings i look like crap! the perm was nicely done lahz..johnson loves my hairdo. he thinks it's nice and all..hah but i just aint confident after a hairwas come tomorrow when i step out of house, i will look good. a novice like me knows nuts about styling curls and taking care of that dry stack of hay after all the perming and colouring. We shall see then...

Anyways, on my way out from the salon to the bus stop, I grabbed a waffle with chocolate spread. i happily ate and boarded the bus. On the bus, i still act vain and kept using my fingers to twist the new curls..All was fine and i Just look contented with my new look till I stepped into SaSa wanting to buy styling wax. The place is full of mirrors and the moment i look into 1, wanting to admire myself, I saw my right corner of my mouth darkened with a heavy dap of chocolate spread. imagine my horrors..You know, the bus ride from the salon to jurong point costs around eighty over cents, so it really isnt a very short ride =) i know the world is beautiful with such jokers like me.

Bus ride from the bus stop outside salon evolution to jurong point: 83 cents
Lucidol styling wax after discount: $6.10
Perming, cutting and colouring: $150
Fat chick with freshly permed hair,and a heavy dap of chocolate spread at the right corner of her mouth: Priceless

For everything beautiful in life, there's a joker like me =)
Cheers!!!

Some stones are better left unturned...

2006-01-03T18:55:00.000+08:00

grr....Im feelin pretty lousy today. im hungry and Im feelin so sick and feverish. Haven't pay the doctor a visit cos Im on self medication. I sure hope come tomorrow, I'll be feelin great and all to go school do my f**king dissertation. Time's so running up. And today seems wasted.

Another something to add on my lousiness, I've been in contact with something I probably shouldn't and it kind of sucks. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but I know I don't fancy the least bit of the idea. sigh..don't ask me a word about it cos' i won't tell. i have sworn to secrecy.

i'm really hungry now. No proper food. Sian...

In this new year.

2006-01-02T22:49:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year to All!!!! Woohoo......
Brand new year, brand new start, brand new resolutions..Smiles, with mucus trickling down my nose. heh yeah im done with quite a bad bout of flu on the 3rd day of 2006, but it ain't gonna take away my good spirits for the new year. There is so much to look forward to, so much to experience, so much to learn.. Boy, do i feel blessed. I know I lament alot more than usual than my peers (here, my peers are used as a benchmark), alot more picky and difficult a person than my peers, yadah yadah...However, beneath all..I really think that throughout this many years of life, I've been very blessed and I'm thankful for all the good things that happened in my life. The supreme being up there has been taking good care of me and my loved ones and for this new year (and many more to follow), I guess the only way I can show my thanks is by living life a worth of what's given to me...

My fedac is taking effect liao. Im feelin numb and drowsy, though im not done with my writing, i should stop here. Good night=) I hope this entry made sense, everything was done under medication influence heh and yeah before i really retire to bed, the cute pic at the start was courtesy of Mr Edgar Su. I love the pics ed..You gonna shoot for me every year? Winks.

What did I walk away to find?

2005-12-22T00:53:00.000+08:00

tsk tsk...I have no idea where to start. But I must say, wed 21/12/05 's been a pretty eventful day! So much that, yeah I'm bit lazy to blog now.

Okie to start it all, yeah my results were out. Nabe. 3 A- and 1 big fat C+. Wah liew how can lidat??Why why tell me why?? And with the big fat fella visiting me this sem, I think I have bid farewell to my 2nd upper class and a job position in the statutory board. I'm really having mixed feelings about this. Feeling okie on my right thigh, but a tinge of sourness on my left earlobe..My cap is upped a lil but it just aint enough. I want more lehz..Did I not do enough for valuation to deserve a C?hmphz seriously i don't quite think so lehz..anyways, yeah there's no point crying over spilled milk.what's done cannot be undone. Just suck thumb and do what I can for my remaining academic life lohz..If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Oh speaking of which (grades), i'm also feelin quite bad that my dear's off the list. i really think im quite jinx-y to begin with lehz..and i really ke-ed him lohz.last time he where got so suay?=( he was doing so fine. so i decided to end this para with a verdict and that is, I'm a suay jinx and bad influence. only know how to play and slack, and when it comes to academic matters - just plain suay. don't think that i'm stupid but yeah.. that bit of last minute hard work i put in just ain't smart and hard enough. bleah....

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In the afternoon, i went to meet lee dot xy and shan at settler's cafe holland v. heh quite an affordable and fun play to hang out with your mates! we ordered some food and had free flow of drinks. and of cos, played board games. the games are plenty. some are really fun and so original, some are the usuals we see like taboo cluedo and such, while some are so creative that they just suck your brain juice and get you all confused. instead of enjoying the game, you get all fed up and irritated with the rules. but overall i grade the place 4 stars (out of 5)!

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And in the evening..woohoo..some bickering with my moo moo.yeah then again, i think it's just me who is bu shuang. and im just bickering with myself. So... i think the issue is i make myself unhappy all the time lohz. I'm a darn hard to please princess? heh whatever lahz...it doesn't matter anymore. does it? scratch head.
i'm pretty saddened this festive period without my moo moo.

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Heh as i type this entry, yunn's telling me about a porn show her boo's watched before. this couple had anal sex, while the girl's shitting..eeeeww..haha my very 1st reaction was: is the shit hard kind or is she lao-ing sai? my 2nd reaction was: wun she feel constipated? something that was supposed to come out was being pushed in lehz...haha anyway yunn decided that it was watery shit she was having. and really, the crucial point of this whole story telling is that, after the anal sex, the girl gave the guy a blow job. uhuh...how does that sound? haha

i think the porn stars have a really high level of professionalism. they beat zoe tay julia roberts flat flat man....they would never have agreed to do such stunts.

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There you have it, what an emotional roller coaster ride i have been on today.
on a serious note, i'd like to learn some yoga and meditation. i think they should help in calming my mind and soul, which i'm in dire need of.
it's time i pick up my luggage and jet away to somewhere faraway. But where can i go? before paying a visit to the dentist and burying myself in irc tmr to do some work for my dissertation.

if the stars and planets align well, i'll see you around.
till then, you'll be so missed. smooches.

Up Close and Personal with STF again..

2005-12-19T11:11:00.000+08:00

Woohoo...I'm feeling so high right now!
I sure must blog about this rightaway. Yes, minutes after I leave stf's office. Sweats.Phew..

Yesterday night I was like reliving my examination days, only that in reality I'm having my holidays now. I was in a mad rush to do whatever I can before my meeting with stf this morning at 10am. I haven't done much for my dissertation. If you ask me why, if the topic's too tough to handle and that's why I'm hell procrastinating the writing and all, and even at crucial moments like last night I still can't churn out much writing..Well the truth is, I really don't think so. In my opinion, my dissertation topic is cool and interesting and I quite like it. I'd like to attribute all the hell-lived procrastination to the voluminous messy information in my brain and lappy and of course, (25% attributable to) the festive and holiday season at this time of the year. I was really really turned off by the information overlaod in my brain. I just couldn't write anything. Being a perfectionist in ways I deem necessary, if I don't write stuff that I consider good, I don't even bother to write. Yes, like what my mum always says about me, my brain is squared. I'm probably not that flexible a person afterall. tsk tsk..not a very desirable trait huh. But as much as I accept that the trait won't make me a very nice person, I'm quite comfortable with it. I'm kinda proud to say that it's what that makes of drey. Oh well..we'll debate about that next time. I'm digressing too much! So yeah I only slept for 2 hrs. I read a fair bit and prepared the agenda for my meeting with stf and braved myself to his office at 950am.

(Youknowwhoyouare: If you are expecting me to get a hell lot of scolding and disappointment from stf, I'm sorry to disappoint you!)

Yes, to my joyous delight, the meeting didn't turn out too bad. I got the help I wanted from him, that is what kind of questions I should be asking for my structured interviews with the organizations in question. And I managed to seek advice from him regarding the organization of my dissertation. He did ask about my progress and all, and I told him I actually have some of the stuff but they are too messy and scattered everywhere to be shown to him. (That's the truth isn't it? I just haven't put them into words only mahz..heh) Well, he seemed convinced and understood my plight that in some circumstances, it does take some time for the bigger puzzle pieces to surface. And what really matters is that you got the frame of the puzzle out. identify the gist of it all. (uhuh I know I don't have much time left liao..But in my case right now, Haste makes Waste. I want no waste!)

I didn't write this entry to gloat and be yaya about not being scolded. I throw my tantrums I lose my cool, but I dare say my rational self never loses grip of what ought to be done. Sometimes, I just get way too emotional and the rationale in me goes into hibernation. But only for awhile. At the end of the day when I wake up to reality again, I think my emotional self has offered me the kind of escapism that I'm in need of to upkeep that level of sainity in me. Hmmm.. Or maybe, I just enjoy it when my emotional self comes out to play. Heh

Gotta go, someone's waiting for me for lunch.
Till then... =)

My Xmas Wishlist 2005!

2005-12-17T23:44:00.000+08:00

Okie this is gona be a quick one. I just got back from a long coffee session with UOB. Just lazing around before I get started with my dissertation again. Wayne met me up at JE while on his way back to send me home. Nabe..His very 1st response when he saw me was "Wah dear ni pang le!" He was very concerned why I put on this fair bit of weight when he only hasn't seen me for 2 days. Yes, I have been eating alot. Yes, I'm an eating machine. Yes, I have been eating supper these days and bloody hell YES, I ate a huge piece of choc creamy cake minutes before bedtime yesterday. Happy anot??? Diu nia seng. Why I get fat so easily?Hana hana, I will go jogging and work out lahz...Grr..I'm just a fat chick this festive season. (Not that I was never one) Heh I'm just not good at resisting food temptations.

Anyway, Grace dear has asked me to post my xmas wish list to better aid her in her purchase of my xmas gift. She says it will be belated no more and 5 years down the road, we wouldn't have to write off each other's present debts again. Oh well...Here it is!!! (EdgarSu and WayneLim, you guys can buy me pressies too after knowing what's on my wishlist hee hee)

In order of merits....

10) Condoliza scar remover. Nabe my motorbike burnt mark is forever there lohz. Why doesn't the rose hip oil work?

9) Some nice smelling sweet looking stuff from crabtree and evelyn?Haha

8) I'd like a contractor to turn up at my door and tell me that someone has secretly paid for him to come and do up my room. It looks so kiddo, I need a change of colours for my wardrobe lehz..

7) 2 fake big toe nails. If you are an avid reader or a close friend of mine, you will know why..

6) A nice pair of slim fitting jeans to make my thunder thighs look slimmer. Yes Mr Lim, you can do your stupid moves of how the fats on my thighs jiggles when I take a step each time. Nabe.

5) A watch. Some formal looking watch that I can wear to work ?

4) Salon Voucher (@EvolutionHub, by dearest johnson haha) I need to dye my hair lehz..

3) Tankini Bikini Whatever ni lahz...whahah i wanna go swim again soon.but my gear like not well equip lehz. just an update, my swimsuit hasnt been worn for ages, i have no idea if the rubber has melted. my bikini is losing it's colour, i don't know why. The buldge on my tummy is forever so huge, not like I always wear my bikini also. Pui.

2) Cenosis or Mary Chia or Expressions or Marie France Bodyline slimming vouchers =) It is only logical and reasonable to add this item on my wishlist every year every time. Look, I'm no ordinary fat chick can? I need professional help. whahaha...

And for that final one, topping the charts this year.....drum rolls....

All I want for christmas this year is....

1) An Adidas vintage bag to replace my torn one. Yes, vintage means it has to be in the Adidas Trefoil logo and the torn bag I was referring to is the black sling bag I always carry around. I didn't want to be so explicit in my writing of my wishlist, but heck..If I don't, poeple will ti gong ti siao act like don't get what I mean and yeah..shit happens.

Whoosh...finally. Time check: 12.31am Wah liew.. I wanted it to be a short post lehz..but still, it took up quite a fair bit of my time. I should faster go bathe and do my dissertation. STF won't be very pleased. Sweats big time.
I know i know, god only helps those who help themselves. I did help myself what. I'll work hard from here k!Hee But still, don't forget to....
Pray for me! (I always pray for all of you lehz...Really..)

The Scientist

2005-12-08T12:09:00.000+08:00

Whenever I hear Coldplay, Travis and Fountain of Wayne's songs, they always bring back very fond memories of him. Boy, do I miss him.

He's always there whenever I need him the most. Through the times when my dad was unemployed, the times whenever I'm unhappy with my bro's attitude and such, the times when I'm irrational and unreasonable with my out of the earth tantrums and even through my times overseas. One of his most talked about principles in life and his style of treating me (as of everyone) is to keep giving. He'll continue to give and he believes, one day I'll eventually learn to give back in return of what I have received all these while. I bought the story.

Look at the stars, look at how they shine for you, and all the things that you do, they're all yellow...

ps: My entries thus far have been very melo. My life isn't actually that sad a case. I promise I will blog on happier notes from this entry onwards. =)

The aftermath of Red Star Awards - The end of 2005

2005-12-05T14:30:00.000+08:00

I dare say I'm not particularly a huge fan of the Red Star Awards. To the best of my memory, I always happen to watch it cos' it's played at dinner time and I'm usually home for dinner on sundays. Every year is more or less the same - the same kinda prizes and familiar faces. I'm acually more interested in what the celebrities wear than what's going on in the event itself. However, somehow this year's Red Star Awards managed to stir some mixed feelings within me. It pulled some emotional heart strings, made my heart linger and think of what's happened in the year and before. Boy, do I feel old, again..Even Fann has to relinquish her thrown and join the ranks of Zoe Tay. Slowly but surely, the celebs whom i grew up with will grow old and a group of unfamiliar newbies will take charge. Heh I'm afterall an emotionally charged towel. Winks.

The newbies these days are so disgusting. They just IRK the shit out of me. I happened to watch a lil of the project superstars chaps hosting the show. Kaoz...As I watch the show, I feel more and more disgusted. I was frowning big time throughout and although they can't see, I was definitely shooting them alot of disapproving looks in front of the TV. Shudders. Are these bunch of fellas gona take over the local showbiz? Wtf. They suck.

For the very 1st time...

2005-12-04T01:59:00.000+08:00

Well well..finally it's my turn. Haha just how many rounds have I lagged others in making my presence felt in this blogosphere. Even Keet has got one of his own..

It was really Ed's blog that inspired me to go create my own blog (plus I'm kinda bored too). Now I have my very own space to write about the issues in my life. Just me and my non-stop kaobei, my tantrums and happy moments. All here to share. Heh kinda cool yeah? The thought of it is exciting.

I decided to end my very 1st entry of my blog with a stock check of the noteworthy issues in my life at the moment.

1) My 2 BIG toe nails are falling off. Left will be 1st, it's really loose. But I'd like to preserve the dead nails till at least CNY'06. I don't fancy house visits without BIG toe nails. I'll look hedious with only 8 pedicured toes.

2) I have permed eyelashes. I don't look exceptionally spectacular with them, but just to satisfy my quest for vainity.

3) My eyebags and dark eye rings are getting from bad to worse. Everytime I walk into Watson's or Guardian pharmacy, I have sales persons coming up right into my face and say, "Xiao Mei, Ni Yao eye cream Ma? Ni Hei Yan Quan Hen Shen Leh!!" It doesn't help that whenever I see Wayne, he never fails to bring up the issue too. wtf. Btw, I get salespersons asking occasionally if I want to get rid of that buldging tummy of mine. I refused help to all. I believe I can get the cures to all of such soon..Just that I'm not very sure how soon is soon with all the junk I put into my mouth. They don't call me an eating machine for nothing.

4) My complexion now is crap. Grace thinks it's attributable to Wayne's not very good complexion. I later comfirmed with alot others. wtf again. 22 years in my life, I NEVER had pimples on cheeks, now I have them at all strategic locations. Even my daily doses of expensive royal jelly no longer help. Tsk tsk....

5) My shoulders are aching like mad, so is my lower spine. Worried. Lower spine is a dangerous zone. I hope it's just my bad posture, not any other organs failing.

6) Bro borrowed at least half a K from mum today to buy his 30GB ipod Video. I ain't exactly pleased with that. Him not going to school for the 1st 3 months of '06 is already maddening enough.

7) Ryan Poh saw a picture of me and Wayne in my hp. With he and his big mouth, I bet he's gona tell the world. I'm not exactly pleased with that. I'm not ready to let dean know yet...

8) Today's coffee session with Keet and HK Ryan was indeed amusing. He's really cute and boyish and Keet is as slutty as ever. He got his fling, and like what he said, it's a closed chapter. Haha what are the chances of meeting him again?Bare minimal.Heh.. but still, it was really sweet of him to drop me a msg to tell me that I'll be missed.

9) I desperately need a new pair of jeans. I violently tore the sides of my Levis' 593 tag and it's gona fall off. But what jeans is a good buy now? Which has a skinny-fying effect? I need.

10) I still haven't get down to doing my dissertation. Yes, I know I suck. Just how lazy can I be. The world is at it and I'm still as aimless as ever. wtf again. On a more comforting note, I already promised Wayne I will get my ass down to seriously pen my Chapter 1 come this monday. No more procrastination.

Yawns. There you have it, I'm going to bed.